Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
