My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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