You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
