I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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