After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
