For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If I die, sorry about rent.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
