oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
