Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
