Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
