Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
