No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So squirting runs in the family.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
