Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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