oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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