I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
