If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
