It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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