We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
