She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
