dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
