i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
