he was CRYING into my vagina
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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