i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
