He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
