I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Operation Purity has been aborted
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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