We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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