East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
