In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
