Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
