The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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