so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
