if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I need to align my fucking chakras
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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