It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
