shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Im part way to drunk.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
