the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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