i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
