she takes plan B like it's going out of style
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
