his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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