Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize