I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
