did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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