i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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