He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
