no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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