im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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