I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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