It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize