If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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