So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
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Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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