You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
