How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
