Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
