I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
