Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize