mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
