I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
