I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
