So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
