As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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