well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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