Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.