I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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