she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.