then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.