called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
