It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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