Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It's just like the Real World with babies
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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