thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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